


he isn't who you think she is

by seoyovngho



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: College!AU, M/M, jihoon is not a girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:12:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7741138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoyovngho/pseuds/seoyovngho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>soonyoung believes in love at first sight. jihoon can't believe soonyoung is this stupid. </p><p>aka; contrary to popular belief, jihoon is very much a man.<br/>crossposted to AFF</p>
            </blockquote>





	he isn't who you think she is

**Author's Note:**

> so i read somewhere that when soonyoung first met jihoon he thought he was a female trainee...

The library was silent as it always was, save for the occasional scribble of pen on paper. And the guy breathing loudly through his mouth on the second floor. It was the perfect environment for sitting down and bashing out an essay, cramming for an upcoming test, or making a sizeable dent in a good book. It was enticing calm and peaceful. 

Soonyoung hated it. 

As a dance major, he usually worked in one of the dance studios with Junhui where they had access to a whiteboard and space. Even when writing up paperwork he would occupy a vocal room, while Seokmin or Seungkwan practiced. He needed some kind of background noise or activity while writing. Some people needed peace and quiet, while Soonyoung preferred anything but. Even if it was just the presence of another person next to him, someone he could talk to as he worked he would be happy. Silence was suffocating to him and he avoided it. Unfortunately, there were no available studios because _someone_ (Junhui) forgot to book a room in advance. They both had progress journals to write up, and their roommate Wonwoo suggested they join him in the library. They could have found somewhere else to work, but it's hard to say no to Wonwoo when his face lights up like that. 

So the three of them were sat at Wonwoo's favourite table in the far right corner. "It gets a lot of natural light and you can also people watch when you get bored of work!" he smiled as they had walked. Soonyoung loved people watching, so accepted the offer. At least he'd have something to occupy himself while he ignored the work he so desperately needed to do.

This idea flies out the window when Wonwoo sits in his usual seat, facing the rest of the library. This would be fine but Junhui (the traitor), who had been clinging onto Wonwoo's arm, takes the seat next to him, leaving Soonyoung to face the back wall. He scowls at Junhui as he sits down and removes his laptop from his bag. 

He opens up the file he had already begun working on and stares at the screen. Soonyoung likes to stay on top of his assignments and he hates leaving everything to last minute, however, he was still a week behind. It was difficult to find a spare moment to update his log due to performance evaluations a few days ago. He sighs heavily, rubbing a hand over his chin. There’s day old stubble on his jaw and he makes a mental note to fix that ASAP.

He manages to write a few hundred words before his focus starts to waver again. He glances at Wonwoo who is hunched over his notebook, furiously scribbling notes from the book next to him. Junhui has his earphones in, head bobbing, eyes focussed on the screen reflected in them. Soonyoung lets out a heavy sigh, catching the attention of Wonwoo. "Uh, Soonyoung?" He whispers.

"Yeah?" Soonyoung responds louder than he intended, excited that he's finally talking to someone. 

"Do you want to help me get some books, stretch your legs a bit?" Wonwoo gestures to the shelves on his left. Wonwoo is a damn angel, so attentive and willing to help out his good friend. Soonyoung makes a note that he should repay Wonwoo for this act of selfless kindness. 

"Please." the blonde replies with a bright smile. Both of them stand from the table, barely earning a glance from Junhui who's now too focussed on his work. They end up in the literature section, which makes sense as that  _is_ Wonwoo's declared major. Soonyoung doesn't pay attention to what books Wonwoo is looking at. Instead, he takes a chance to people watch from the safety of the tall shelves. He glances over at two girls huddled over a book, sharing earphones as they squabble in hushed tones. One’s long brown hair keeps sliding from behind her ear, obstructing the view of the other which is likely causing the argument.

Soonyoung continues to scan the library when he spots her. He almost does a double take when he sees her cotton pink hair adorned her eye-catching beauty. Her nose scrunches up in concentration on the computer in front of her and his stomach flips his heart into his mouth. The world fades into a soft blur but focusses on this angel. This vision has changed Soonyoung's world in one moment.

"Wonwoo." Soonyoung's voice is strong, much too loud for a library. He doesn't care.

"Hmm?" Wonwoo asks, distracted, far too focussed on the novel open in his hands. 

"Wonwoo, I’m in love." 

He ignores the "Shh" that comes from the aisle to his left. He ignores Wonwoo's heavy sigh. He is in love with the student sat at the librarian's desk. Her hair is cut into a bob and coloured like candyfloss. The light from the computer screen illuminates her smooth features. He can't tell from the distance, but he's sure her eyes sparkle when she smiles like the sun gleams off the ocean on a warm's summer’s day. Soonyoung drifts back to the table, eyes never leaving the girl at the desk as he abandons Wonwoo in the depths of the shelves. 

Junhui must have almost finished his work because he gives his full focus to Soonyoung when he returns. The Chinese student follows Soonyoung's line of sight to the librarian's desk, then back to Soonyoung with confusion etched on his features. The latter flops into Wonwoo's vacant seat and throws an arm around Junhui's shoulders.

"Junhui, beautiful, amazing, Wen Junhui. Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Junhui lets out a small chuckle at that, "Are you hitting on me Soonyoung?" Soonyoung shoots him an unimpressed look. 

"As wonderful as you are, I have my eyes on that lovely lady over there," he explains, pointing to the main desk. Junhui can't see the woman in question, due to the tall desk blocking her from view, but he nods in understanding anyway.

"You should ask her out," Junhui concludes, turning back to his laptop to continue his work, but it's never that simple with Soonyoung.

The library was once Wonwoo's sanctuary. It acted as a safe haven from the busy outside world and an escape from his exceptionally loud friends. (He was not sure how he had acquired such a boisterous friendship group, and while he loved them all to death, sometimes he needed quiet). Which is why he had the library where he could work in silence, or find solitude to get lost in a good book. 

Wonwoo really regrets bringing Soonyoung to the library that day. Since he had "fallen in love" with the student librarian, he's used every excuse to join Wonwoo in the library. At first, Wonwoo thought this would be a good thing. At least Soonyoung could be productive while he pined after the girl. In reality, he does nothing, only using his laptop as cover in case her gaze strays to their table. On top of that, it's taken Wonwoo two hours to read a single chapter. He’s thankful that Junhui tends to follow Soonyoung to the library. It means Wonwoo doesn't have to answer all of Soonyoung's endless questions. They range from, "do you think she prefers dogs or cats," to "do you think she'd be open to calling our first kid after a member of Shinee?"

"Just go talk to her," Junhui suggests for the fourth time that week. He’s sick of his friend talking nonstop about a girl he knows nothing about and Wonwoo knows it. "You’ll never know if she's the one if you don't get up and talk to her."

Soonyoung bangs his head hard on the desk. "What would I say? She’s so much more special than other girls."

"Maybe you should declare yourself as a drama major." Wonwoo mutters under his breath, earning a snicker from Junhui. 

Junhui and Wonwoo eventually convince Soonyoung to talk to the librarian. It takes too many pep talks and motivational speeches but they finally agree on Soonyoung's approach. He wants to combine Junhui's suave nature and Wonwoo's sense of humour. (Junhui asks "what sense of humour?" earning a smack on the back of the head from the comedian himself).

"I’m ready," Soonyoung announces before standing up to approach the desk. The walk feels longer than it is, and his heart beats so hard he's scared it's going to jump out of his chest. At least that would work as an interesting ice breaker, he thinks. He stops himself and stands up straight to regain his confidence before sauntering over. He finally reaches the desk, takes a breath and leans his elbow on the smooth wooden countertop. She doesn't notice him at first (he tries not to let that sting his pride because she's immersed in her work). He lets out a small cough to grab her attention. 

"Oh." She looks up. Her voice is deeper than he was expecting. It has a certain gruffness to it like she just woke up but it's cute. He can roll with it. The words sexy and sensual come into his mind before she speaks again. "Can I help you?"

_'I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?'_

Perfect, he thinks with a smirk on his face. Then he notices her face hasn't changed, still looking at him in anticipation. His toothy grin falters a little in confusion. He realises he didn't actually say anything out loud. He said it in his head.  _Alright_ , he thinks,  _you can save this_. "I have a library card!" the words stumble out of his mouth. "y-you can check-check me out? Fuck."

She lets out a small laugh and Soonyoung can't help but feel a small sense of pride despite his embarrassment. He made her laugh at least. He knows his face is burning redder than the fiercest fires but he made her laugh. He did that. He’s the reason she's smiling, and laughing, and her eyes have almost formed into crescents.

Soonyoung chuckles nervously, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I-I kind of messed that up, huh? I, uh... I-you want coffee?" Soonyoung smacks the side of his face because he's making a fool of himself but she's so much prettier up close. And now he can't stop talking. "I mean, would you possibly want to get coffee with me, if you want to. I understand if you say no. I’m really sorry I totally messed up just now. I was gonna be super smooth and now I’m just a rambling mess and I’m really sorr-"

"Jihoon." She interrupts, smirking up at him with a playful glint in her eye. "My name is Jihoon and after I learn your name I would love to go get a coffee with you. God knows I need one."

Junhui and Wonwoo silently cheer from the table they were using to eavesdrop.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon doesn't normally do this sort of thing. He isn't one for spending time getting to know a stranger over a coffee. It isn't a leisure activity. He usually drinks his coffee whilst he works, forcing himself to stay awake and be productive. But, there's something so refreshing about Soonyoung that he can't reject the offer, especially when the other offered to pay. So he winds up in the campus coffee shop with a cute and dorky guy who is cooing over the selection of muffins. Soonyoung is visibly nervous. His knee is jumping up and down, his fingers circle the edge of his mug and he laughs at almost everything. Soonyoung is a dance major, lives with fellow classmate Junhui and their friend Wonwoo and he's been trying to get the courage to ask Jihoon out for almost a week.

Jihoon isn't really surprised at that. He can already tell that Soonyoung is a perfectionist by the way he is so nervous and is putting pressure on himself over a coffee date. They have that trait in common. Jihoon also knows he can come off as intimidating, and his exterior doesn't exactly scream 'gay' so he doesn't get approached often. Soonyoung laughs, explaining how he recently created a dance move whilst Wonwoo was ill. Hid flatmate had taken a tissue from the tissue box and Soonyoung incorporated is into one of his final piece for the year. Jihoon is glad Soonyoung got the courage to come up and talk to him because he's so charming that Jihoon can't help but laugh with him. 

The date seems to go well, but Jihoon doesn't have much experience to base it off of.  He enjoys himself and Soonyoung's bright smile suggests he did too so he supposes it goes well. Jihoon makes sure to plug his number into Soonyoung's phone before they go their separate ways. "You have to text me, okay?" Jihoon says as he types in the number. "And don't do that wait three days thing either just text whenever. But make sure you do so I don't look like a fool when I tell my friends about this but you've dropped off the face of the earth." 

Soonyoung laughs at that. "I’ll probably text you within an hour and that with self-control." They get up to leave, Soonyoung opening the door for Jihoon and he's about to laugh at it when he says "Ladies first." 

Jihoon won't lie, he's a little surprised at the comment, and almost a little hurt. He had kind of thought that being called a 'lady' was in the past. Just because he was gay didn't make him any less of a man. Jihoon put it down to nerves, internalised misogyny, and gender roles and decided to brush it off. 

 

* * *

 

They don't have time to go on proper dates. Soonyoung still has his journal to catch up on and another upcoming performance evaluation. Jihoon has her own compositions to work on. Soonyoung learns that Jihoon a workaholic and a perfectionist. Sometimes she'll be up later than 3am if she needs to, just to make sure something reaches her standards. Soonyoung can relate, as he's spent endless nights trying to nail down a certain move, or to finish off choreography. So most of their dates (if you can call them that) are in Jihoon's recording room or in whatever dance studio Soonyoung is occupying that day. Soonyoung, (the romantic he is) would prefer sit down meals, trips to the cinema and the like, but he quickly finds that he enjoys their 'dates' wherever they were, because Jihoon's companionship is more fulfilling than any crappy rom-com. it's also cheaper.

The first few times Jihoon watches Soonyoung dance, Soonyoung is overcome with nerves. He sweats like crazy when he dances and doesn't want to gross Jihoon out, so doesn't dance full power. He could dance better but Jihoon still seemed impressed so that was a win. Then about two weeks after their first coffee date, Jihoon slips into one of the dance studios while Soonyoung is still practicing. He’s too focussed on the rhythm, he doesn't register that the figure in the mirror is Jihoon. It’s only when he's finished, panting in his final position that he realises. She’s clapping proudly and he's drenched in sweat. He had been dancing for hours already, his t-shirt soaked through. Jihoon just runs up, loops her arms around his waist and showers him with rare compliments. "I’ve never seen you dance like  _that_  before! Have you been holding out on me Soonyoung?"

She frowns a little and pulls away, waiting for an answer. Soonyoung sighs, "I thought you wouldn't like to see me all gross and sweaty so I didn't push myself that hard when dancing for you." 

Jihoon shakes her head at that. "I find it more attractive when you put your all into it." Soonyoung's eyebrows lifted at that. There was a flirtatious tone in Jihoon's voice he hadn't heard before. 

"Oh really?" Soonyoung's hands find her waist, pulling her closer to him. Jihoon smirks, hands making their way to the back of Soonyoung's neck, playing with the small hairs there. 

Jihoon coughs awkwardly under Soonyoung's gaze, finding the eye contact too much at once. "So, do you want to be my boyfriend?" Jihoon mutters. Her eyes flick around the room giving away her nervousness.

"I’d love that." Soonyoung replies, a smile taking over his face. 

"Cool."

"Cool." Soonyoung echoes with a giggle. "Can I kiss you now?"

A blush creeps up Jihoon's face. "Yeah sure, whatever."

 

* * *

 

Wonwoo doesn't know what's worse, pining Soonyoung, or boyfriend Soonyoung. He hasn't stopped bragging about his girlfriend for two months. "And she writes her own music, she's a composer. It’s like we're meant to be. She can write songs and I can choreograph them. Ultimate power couple!" as bored with the conversation the blonde's friends are, both are secretly excited to  _finally_  meet her. (Who dates someone for two months and doesn't introduce her to his best friends/roommates? Junhui is hurt). They’re outside one of the performance art buildings. Junhui and Soonyoung had just finished class and Wonwoo made his way from the other side of campus. Now the three eagerly waited for Jihoon to emerge from the recording studio. 

"Hey," a breathless voice comes from the entrance way. Junhui pushes himself off the wall he had leaned on to get a closer look at his friend's new girlfriend. 

"Hi!" Soonyoung bounds up to her, placing a kiss on her cheek and an arm around her waist as he steers her towards his friends. "Jihoon, this is Junhui, and this is Wonwoo. Guys this is my Jihoon." Jihoon scowls at the term of endearment.

Both Wonwoo and Junhui's mouths hang open now they have a close look at Jihoon. Jihoon is very much a man. Junhui puts a hand out for Jihoon to shake. He’s confused and in disbelief but he's still polite to the poor guy.

Jihoon clearly notices the expressions on Junhui and Wonwoo's faces as the frown on his face deepens. He brushes it off and turns to Soonyoung. "Hey, I’ve almost finished this song do you want to keep me company in the studio? You’ll be the first to listen to it." Soonyoung's face lights up at the offer.

"Jihoonie is always so secretive with this sort of thing," Soonyoung explains to his friends whilst clinging to Jihoon's side. 

"I don't like sharing unfinished compositions is all." Jihoon shoves the arm Soonyoung had around his stomach off of him. 

Soonyoung hums. "You two go on home without me, I’m gonna stay with Jihoon for a while."

"Okay." Wonwoo manages to get out, having composed himself from the initial shock. "Nice meeting you Jihoon."

"You too." Jihoon forces an awkward smile before Soonyoung steers them both back to the entrance of the building, Wonwoo and Junhui staring after them.

"That’s a dude right?" Junhui asks as soon as the door closes. 

"That is definitely a dude." they begin the walk to their car. "We should probably tell him."

Junhui sighs sadly, thinking about how funny it would have been to let Soonyoung figure it out on his own "Yeah probably. That’s the right thing to do."

Wonwoo laughs at that, mostly in disbelief that Junhui would do that to his friend. "We’ll tell him at dinner once he's home."

 

* * *

 

Soonyoung loves the studio. There’s a sofa behind the sound desk that he likes to lie on while Jihoon works, her headphones on and eyes determined. Occasionally she'll unplug the headphones and play her work to the room, asking Soonyoung for any feedback. He rarely has any because he isn't a composition major and doesn't know what to look for. He listens to enough music to point out things he likes and things he doesn't and Jihoon still seems grateful.

Sometimes, if Jihoon has finished a piece she's particularly proud of, she'll make Soonyoung freestyle to it. She’ll clap her hands with laughter at whatever ridiculous move he comes up with. And sometimes, if his dance is sexy enough, she'll straddle him on the sofa and steal kisses.

At the moment, the headphones are in, Jihoon's eyebrows are furrowed into a frown and Soonyoung lies back on the sofa scrolling through twitter on his phone. He likes it like this, even though it is quiet and calm, he has Jihoon's presence which is excitement enough for him. He glances over to his girlfriend occasionally, watching the back of her pink head bobbing to the rhythm of the song streaming in her ears. 

Soonyoung learns to appreciate the quietness of these moments thanks to Jihoon. 

He turns back to his phone. He’s watching dance practice videos of idol groups with one earphone in, the other free in case Jihoon turns to talk to him, which she does.

"I think I’ve finished this one.” Jihoon states, untangling the headphones from her neck. She unplugs them and a funky pop song begins to play through the studio. Soonyoung is immediately on his feet, letting the beat flow through him. He copies a few moves from famous girl group dances to make Jihoon laugh, eyes scrunched into crescents and hands clapping like a seal. Soonyoung thinks Jihoon is the most beautiful like that. 

Once both of their laughter dies down, and the song finishes, Soonyoung drapes himself over the back of Jihoon's chair, pressing kisses onto the top of her head. "Seeing as I’ve finished at a decent time of day," Jihoon starts, "why don't you come back to mine for a bit before you head home."

 

* * *

 

Jihoon shares a house with three guys (Soonyoung was surprised that she was comfortable with it, but then again, Jihoon gets on better with guys than girls) who are conveniently out at the moment. Soonyoung settles on the couch, flicking the channel for something to watch. By the time he's settled on an anime rerun, Jihoon returns with two cans of coke and a bag of chips for the two to share. "Oh, I love this," Jihoon announces as she sits on the couch, cuddling up into the crook of Soonyoung's arm. Her left-hand tangles with Soonyoung's and the shorter plays with them as they watch the show. 

“Soonyoung,” she murmurs and he looks down to see her peering up at him. Her calloused hand reaches for his cheek and she leans up to kiss him. It’s a chaste peck on the lips, but that doesn’t stop a grin splitting across Soonyoung's face. He chases her lips for another kiss, lips puckered comically. She ducks her head in embarrassment with a small laugh. "Stop." 

Soonyoung giggles. "I can't help it, I just like your lips so much," he almost whines. It's too cute and Jihoon grimaces. Soonyoung can tell she secretly likes it though by the way her lips quirk upwards after. That, and how she goes to kiss him again, lips meeting gently, moving against each other. Jihoon pulls away to push her body further up the couch so she has better access to Soonyoung's mouth. His hand rests on her thigh, squeezing lightly with encouragement as their lips meet again. He grins against her chapped lips, pulling her closer to him. She's just about to climb onto his lap when the front door opens. Jihoon jumps away at the yelp, pushing Soonyoung's hand off her thigh as two men enter the room with some kind of takeout piled into white plastic bags. 

"Oh," One of them says. His eyes are round and he looks almost like a model with his white button down and dyed ginger hair. The other man has long hair, tied back into a low ponytail and a small frown on his face as he takes in Jihoon's slightly red lips. "We didn't know you'd be home already Jihoon." the model smiles softly.

"You must be Soonyoung." The other glares right into Soonyoung's soul and he can feel the fear spread on his face. Jihoon lets out an annoyed huff from next to him. The tension in the room is thick and no one wants to break the silence, each of them waiting for someone else to make a move.

"I'm Joshua." The model says, giving in to the heavy atmosphere. "This is Jeonghan." He motions to the man still staring daggers at Soonyoung. He has no idea what he's done to upset this guy but he hopes he can resolve it soon. He wouldn't want to put Jihoon in an uncomfortable position. 

"Well," Jeonghan speaks. "It's nice to have you out of the studio so early Jihoon, instead of coming back at 4am. You need to get normal sleeping pattern sorted."

Jihoon groans, falling back onto Soonyoung's chest. Jeonghan's frown deepens. "I am an adult, I can look after myself thank you, though."

"Soonyoung it's a shame you can't stay for dinner. It would have been lovely to get to know you more." Jeonghan changes the subject, voice dripping with passive aggression. Soonyoung is really confused as to what he's done to this guy. Maybe Jeonghan is actually in love with Jihoon? That would make sense. 

"No one said he  _can't_  stay for dinner." Jihoon retorts, sitting back up. Soonyoung misses the warmth. 

"Nut we only got enough food for four." Jeonghan smile is sweet unlike the message behind the sentence. Joshua nudges him with his elbow as if saying 'don't involve me in this.'

"Like we ever finish everything anyway." Jihoon answers. Soonyoung can't quite make out what the expression on her face is. Jeonghan opens his mouth to argue further but Jihoon gets there first. "You know what? Soonyoung why don't I show you my room." Jihoon wraps her hand around Soonyoung's wrist, pulling them both up. She grabs the chips before disappearing further into the house to the staircase. 

Soonyoung thinks he hears Joshua mutter "There was a reason he waited so long to introduce us." But he brushes it off. 

"I'm sorry about that." Jihoon's hand snakes from Soonyoung's wrist to intertwine their fingers. It's a bold move for Jihoon because she's never the one to initiate skinship.

"It's okay." Soonyoung sings, goofy smile on his face. They've reached Jihoon's door.

"Sorry about the mess," She apologises. As soon as she opens the door she scurries over to her desk where composition papers lay scattered everywhere. She shuffles them into a neat enough pile and places them underneath the tall microphone sitting on the surface. 

Jihoon's room isn't what Soonyoung expected. He assumed it would be a little more... feminine. Instead, he's met with browns and blues covering most surfaces. There are a few books in small piles on the rough carpet. Her bed (larger than a single but still smaller than a double) is tucked into the far corner, covered with blue sheets that have not been made. There's a guitar in the opposite corner by the door which looks old and well used. Under the bed he sees more books, ranging from classical composers to media software. The room is dark due to the closed curtains which Jihoon quickly remedies. Light streams into the room, giving her a halo and highlighting the dust dancing around the room. The beauty of that single moment causes Soonyoung to freeze for a second before he goes back to inspecting the room.

He probably shouldn't be surprised at the room. He had noticed that Jihoon wasn't the girliest of women. He had never seen her in a skirt or a dress. Instead, she favoured sweatpants or jeans and an oversized hoodie which drowned her frame. It made sense that the room fit her tomboyish aesthetic. 

She picks up a few stray pairs of boxers on the floor and shoves them in the laundry basket at the end of the bed. Soonyoung isn't surprised at that either. She seems like the kind of girl who would prefer boxers to the uncomfortable, skimpy underwear he assumes women wear every day. Once she seems satisfied enough with the state of the room she leans back on the edge of the desk. She's left space on the surface so she can lean back without messing up her worksheets, hips jutting out towards him in invitation. "At least we're alone now," She smirks, wiggling her eyebrows at him. 

He laughs, closing the door behind him as he saunters over to her. His hands meet her hips, pushing her into the desk with a heated kiss. Jihoon's hands' cup Soonyoung's jaw, the gentle touch contrasting the roughness of the kiss. Her mouth opens with a small moan and her hands roam south to the edge of Soonyoung's t-shirt. He pulls her away from the desk so she's flush against him before his hands wander down from her hips to her ass which he gives a small squeeze. 

Jihoon pushes him away at that causing Soonyoung's brain to go into overdrive because shit, he's gone too far. He’s about to apologise when she lets out a small "fuck." Her hands find their place under Soonyoung's shirt, feeling the muscles on his lower back. Their lips meet again in a few pecks, Soonyoung chasing after her yet again. They kiss again, mouths open with a small clash of teeth before they find a comfortable rhythm. Soonyoung can feel his fingers digging into the flesh on her hips in the excitement. She moans again, clearly not hating it, but he lets up a little, still making sure she can still feel his grip.

Her hands move up to his chest now and he can feel his heart racing and knows he's getting overexcited. He's about to bring the makeout session to an end when she pulls back and whispers a simple "bed," in his ear. Soonyoung groans, hands sitting firmly on her ass before hauling her up. Her legs immediately wrap around his waist with a yelp. Her arms fling around his neck to keep her from falling and he takes the opportunity to mouth at her neck as he carries her to the bed. "Warn me next time." Jihoon chides with a small slap on Soonyoung's arm. 

"Where's the fun in that?" He laughs with a toothy grin.

Soonyoung sits with his back against the wall with Jihoon on his lap. It’s a position that they're familiar with but the electricity in the air feels different to the other times they've been in this scenario. Jihoon's hands gravitate back towards the hem of Soonyoung's shirt while the blond continues the sloppy kisses from her collarbone to her neck. She leans her head back giving him easier access and he smiles into her skin, knowing she's enjoying this just as much as he is. She huffs out a small laugh and it goes straight to Soonyoung's crotch. 

Jihoon's hands move from their favourite place (underneath his shirt, grazing his abdomen) to pull his face out of the crook of her neck. She guides his lips back to hers. His hands about to move to her chest when she thrusts down on him. It's a ghost of a touch, but still enough to send his mind reeling in his aroused state. His hands fall to Jihoon's thighs in an attempt to ground himself and to pull her closer. She smirks into his mouth, repeating the action, allowing more contact between their bodies. 

He lets out a soft moan, allowing Jihoon's tongue to meet his own as she takes control of the kiss. Soonyoung feels himself straining against his jeans, now fully hard. He feels the need to stop, not wanting to go too far too soon. This is the furthest they've gotten and he doesn't want to make Jihoon feel pressured into anything.

That thought goes out the window when Jihoon decides it's a great idea to repeatedly grind down onto his hard-on while sucking Soonyoung's lower lip into her mouth. She's finally had enough of his shirt because she pulls away from the kiss and starts tugging on the bottom of his shirt. "Off." She commands. He hurries to obey before surging back towards her. He leans closer and she has to wrap her arm around his neck to stop herself falling backwards. The blond uses Jihoon's ass to shift her further up his lap with his large hands when he feels it. 

Jihoon is flush against him and he can feel Jihoon's boner. 

He freezes, eyes open wide looking at Jihoon's face. Her (his?) features are smoothed over in pleasure until ~~she~~ he realises Soonyoung has stopped. Jihoon pulls away frowning in confusion. "What's wrong? Am I moving too fast? We can stop if you wa-"

Soonyoung is too busy in his own head to register what Jihoon is saying. Everything starts to add up. Tt explains why he's never seen the other in skirts or dresses, and why their room is masculine. It explains why Joshua used he pronouns, why Wonwoo and Junhui looked at him with confusion earlier that day when they had been introduced. It explains why Soonyoung has never seen the curve of Jihoon's breasts when he wears tight shirts because he doesn't  _have_ any. It then occurs to him that Jihoon could be transgender and he had just never thought to ask. 

This is a sensitive topic and he thanks the heavens that he's managed to will his boner away with the sudden nerves that came over him. This is a  _very_ sensitive topic... which is why he runs away from it. 

He shoves his shirt on, taps Jihoon's thighs to get his weight off himself then rushes out of the house with a quick "Gotta go, I forgot I have to be somewhere!" Leaving Jihoon confused and aroused on his messy bed.

 

* * *

 

He gets the bus back home, but the journey is a blur. He thinks back to the past two months of his life, finding more hints that Jihoon was actually a guy the whole time they'd been together. When he opens the door to his shared apartment with Wonwoo and Junhui, the two are finishing up eating whatever Junhui had prepared. 

"Oh thank god."

"There you are." 

He walks over to the spare seat at the table and plops down. 

"What's wrong?" Junhui asks, searching the blonde’s face, looking for an answer to his question.

Soonyoung takes a breath before stating, "Jihoon is a dude."

His roommates share a look. "We know," Junhui speaks up first. "We kind of realised when you introduced us earlier but we were gonna wait until you got home to break the news."

Wonwoo looks guilty. "Sorry, we didn't warn you earlier." A bowl of noodles gets pushed in front of Soonyoung. "How did you find out?" Soonyoung takes the clean chopsticks left on the table and starts to play with his food.

"We were making out and things kind of got intense and she-he kind of got hard." He lets out a sigh, finally eating some of the noodles Junhui made.

The Chinese man finds the situation kind of hilarious but manages to keep in his laughter when Wonwoo shoots him a look. "So what did you do?" Junhui asks once he knows he won't laugh.

Soonyoung looks sheepish, knowing he shouldn't have just run from Jihoon. "I just left. Didn't explain why. I just ran out." He feels guilty, knowing he's just left Jihoon like that, probably confused as to what he did wrong. "I'm not gay." He says as if that explains why he's being an asshole. 

"So you're gonna break up with him?" Junhui asks, the shock clear in his voice. Soonyoung frowns. Of course, he's going to break up with Jihoon. He  _isn't gay_  and that would just be unfair to Jihoon. "Soonyoung." He looks up at his friend. "You really enjoy being with Jihoon. I've never seen you this excited about a relationship."

Soonyoung frowns. "What are you trying to say?"

"Maybe you should give him a chance," Wonwoo suggests. Soonyoung's eyes snap up to meet his at that.

"I'm not-"

"I know you're not gay. You like girls but you also like Jihoon so don't write it off y'know. Give it a chance." 

Soonyoung thinks about that for a moment. True, he likes both girls and Jihoon. Maybe he's bi? He had never considered dating a guy. He thinks back to the past few weeks he's spent with Jihoon, thinks about the familiarity, and comfort that he feels with the pink haired man. It wasn't a feeling he had with his other friends, and he can't think of any ex's he's felt this comfortable with. He can be himself with Jihoon without worrying what the other will think of him.

He jolts up, chair scraping loudly on the wooden floor. "I fucked up, didn't I? I ran away from the problem when the solution was in front of me, grinding on my lap." He's staring into the distance. Junhui is hollering and fist pumping while Wonwoo groans about sharing too much information. "I need to make this right before I lose the best thing that's ever happened to me." 

Junhui's yelling falters, "Okay, that's a little dramatic even for you." 

"Do you believe in love at first sight, Junhui?" Soonyoung asks, eyes finally lowering from the ceiling. 

Wonwoo scoffs. "Definitely should have been a drama major."

 

* * *

 

Soonyoung doesn't finish his food. Instead, he runs back out the apartment, thankful he hadn't stopped to take off his jacket and shoes when he first got back. He manages to make the next bus back to Jihoon's house. He takes a breath to compose himself before ringing the bell. A few moments pass before he hears the door unlock. Joshua is on the other side, looking surprised to see Soonyoung there. 

"Oh. Hello again. Come in I’ll just get Jihoon." he smiles as he lets Soonyoung into the house. He hopes he doesn't run into Jeonghan before seeing Jihoon. Joshua disappears into the back of the house to the kitchen.

Jeonghan's voice rings out. "He came back after running out on Jihoonie? Are you serious?" There's another moment of silence before Jihoon emerges. He grabs Soonyoung's wrist wordlessly and drags him upstairs to his bedroom. Jihoon closes the door behind him and starts to talk. "Okay, we need to talk. I’m sorry about earlier. It’s clear I was moving too fast and you were uncomfortable-"

"Jihoon," Soonyoung tries to interrupt but Jihoon isn't having it.

"Let me finish." He says with a pointed look. "I don’t know about you but I like what we have going here and think I want it to be a long term thing. If you want that too we need to make sure we communicate properly. So I’m sorry and if I’m going too fast just let me know and I’ll back off." Jihoon runs a hand through his hair. "I haven't been in many relationships so I want to do this right, you know?" He lets out a small smile. "That felt good to get off my chest."

He really isn't making this any easier, Soonyoung thinks. Jihoon must trust him to be so open like this. He just hopes Jihoon doesn't hate him for what he's about to confess. "Jihoon, sit down. I kind of have something to confess to you."

He frowns, nervous, but sits down anyway, waiting for Soonyoung to continue.

Too scared to see Jihoon's reaction, Soonyoung closes his eyes before speaking. "For the past three months, I thought you were a woman. Then earlier when we were making out I found out I was wrong and I freaked out so I ran." he gathers the courage to open his eyes. Jihoon's hiding his face, gaze focussed on his hands in his lap. Silence rings through Soonyoung's ears as he holds his breath waiting for Jihoon to respond. 

Seconds pass by in what feels like minutes before Jihoon lifts his head, pink dusting his cheeks. Soonyoung thinks it's likely from the embarrassment of the situation. His eyes don't look wet and Soonyoung isn't surprised by that at all. Jihoon has always had a tough exterior even if his emotions don't correlate with his outward image. Jihoon's cold eyes finally meet his and he feels a shiver travel up his arms in anticipation. 

"I am sorry for wasting your time." he sounds so business-like and Soonyoung feels his heart ache. "If that's all, I can walk you out." Soonyoung is so in shock. He hadn't expected that reaction. Of all the scenarios that went through his head, Jihoon assuming they would break up didn't even cross his mind. He’s still so in shock he doesn't realise Jihoon's already stood and moving towards the door. His body reacts on instinct, grabbing the shorter man's wrist before he can go any further. 

"I never said I wanted to break up." Jihoon turns to look at him, expression unreadable. Soonyoung keeps talking. "I’m not gay, I might be bi I guess? I don't know, but I know that I like what we have and I’d like to see where it goes." Jihoon isn't responding, but he isn't pulling away either so Soonyoung takes this as a good sign. He continues. "I might need time to get used to a few things but Jihoon, I would really like for you to be my boyfriend."

They’re both still for a moment, a slight frown creasing Jihoon's brow. His eyes keep flicking to different areas of the floor as he thinks. Jihoon's demeanour changes in a second. He’s no longer deep in thought, instead looking unimpressed with a slight pout. Soonyoung's heart flutters because he looks so cute right now. 

Jihoon wrenches his wrist away from Soonyoung and hits the blonde’s shoulder repeatedly with a shout. "How could you think I’m a woman?" Soonyoung curls in on himself as Jihoon continues to punch him half-heartedly. "I thought you were just a little bit homophobic but turns out my boyfriend's just a huge idiot!" Soonyoung can't help the goofy smile that spreads across his face at the word 'boyfriend.'

Soonyoung returns his grip onto Jihoon's wrists to stop the relentless attack. "But Jihoon, I’m your idiot." 

"Get off." 

Soonyoung laughs at that, letting go of Jihoon's wrists only to hold onto link their fingers together. His mind finally catches up with him. "Wait? Homophobic?"

Jihoon groans, head falling back. "This makes so much sense." He goes to sit back down on his bed. Soonyoung follows concern on his face clinging onto one of Jihoon's hands. "You kept saying things and it makes sense now I know you thought I was actually a  _woman_ , but at the time I thought you were just making jokes that because I was gay I was a woman." Jihoon's free hand pushes his pink hair out of his face. "things like 'ladies first!' Or that time you directed me to the ladies restroom in the cafe; when you pointed to a dress saying it would look cute on me; asking if I was on my period that one time I snapped at you. I mean you shouldn't say that to a woman anyway but-"

"Oh my god." Soonyoung is in disbelief that he is actually _this thick_. "I’m such an idiot." Jihoon barks out a laugh in agreement. "I’m almost surprised you want to stay with me after I’ve proven how oblivious I am."

Jihoon raises an eyebrow. "Almost?"

"I am ridiculously charming and good looking, Jihoon." Soonyoung flashes an eye smile. Jihoon just shakes his head at his boyfriend's antics. 

"I should probably tell Jeonghan." He lets out a sigh. It’s clearly a conversation he doesn't want to have. 

Soonyoung nods in understanding. "So that's why he hates me."

Jihoon looks guilty. "I’m sorry about that. He’s the person I go to with relationship troubles. He doesn't like the idea of me going out with someone who still has problems accepting their own sexuality. Says I have too much on my plate and dealing with a slightly homophobic boyfriend isn't worth my effort."

"Oh." Is all Soonyoung can manage. Emotional fatigue starts taking over his body. He glances at the clock on Jihoon's wall and sees its almost 11pm. "I should apologise to Jeonghan then, huh?"

His boyfriend shakes his head. "If anything he should apologise for how rude he was to you earlier. He means well, he just gets fiercely protective." Jihoon looks like he's about to say something else, but shake his head, deciding it's not a good idea.

"What?" Soonyoung asks because he's kind of curious about what Jihoon doesn’t want to say.

Jihoon sighs. "It’s been a long day. I’m emotionally worn out and I haven't had a proper sleep in over a week so I want to go to bed so... do you want to stay the night?" 

Soonyoung kisses the side of his boyfriend's mouth. "Yeah, that sounds nice." 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't really know how to end this but I hoped you enjoyed reading it! it ended up way longer than i intended oops. this is unbeta'd so if there are any mistakes please let me know! feedback is also appreciated (don't hold back). thank you for reading! 
> 
> you can find me on twitter @MOONHUlS!


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